Sensory overload
Sensory overload is the term used for when one or many of our five senses, our taste, sight, smell, hearing and touch take in too much information at once and our brains can’t quite handle it. This makes our brain feel as though it’s under threat and so it enters fight, flight or freeze mode.
Sensory overload can be found in many neurodivergences and generally in anybody whether they’re neurodivergent or neurotypical, it can also come in many shapes and sizes.
I want to talk about about my personal struggles as a woman with ADHD.
Story Time
So…before I get into it, this is the t-shirt in question.
A back story to said t-shirt, I bought it approximately nine days ago in a pretty cool shop in a small-ish French town surrounding lake Geneva. Both me and my partner fell head over heels with this shop.
It was a gold mine of edgy brand named clothing, the kind of shop where you eye up a top that looks vaguely ‘normal’ and maybe slightly cool, but as you take it off the hanger you notice a zip running up the front of the top turning it into what I can only describe as a t-shirt jacket hybrid…a t-jacket.
So now you know where we are, this top was obviously pretty plain and simple and what I would describe as the perfect fit.
‘The perfect fit’
This means texture, it has to be the right material.
Colour, in my case it cannot be anything that isn’t toned down, beige or contain tree like colours.
The right size, My t-shirts have to be loose at the bottom, they cannot stick to me in any way but they also must be small enough to not stretch pass my waste.
This t-shirt definitely fits the bill.
It was indeed ‘The perfect fit’.
So please oh please tell me why, three days later, wearing this t-shirt felt like the work of Satan to me.
My skin felt itchy, my brain couldn’t comprehend the colour anymore and it was too tight yet somehow too loose.
My brain went into complete Sensory overload and a meltdown began to occur. Too many textures, too many feelings and quite frankly I wanted to be naked.
Story End
That’s it. That there is sensory overload.
It happens more often than I can comprehend, from t-shirts not feeling right to the colours of walls not being quite the right shade, oh god forbid something being out of place and I wouldn’t even attempt to ask me a question whilst I’m washing up.
In the case of fight, flight or freeze I definitely stand out as a freezer. My brain goes numb and the thought of opening my mouth to speak or even moving to change the situation is downright inconceivable.
It becomes a panicked situation, my breathing becomes heavier and my need to scream is incontrollable.
Now I’m 22, I would say I have a pretty rounded view on myself and a good grasp of right and wrong.
Unfortunately 12 year old Hannah did not.
These feelings of complete sensory overload and the lack of control over my emotions
(Read: https://improbablynotlistening.com/what-is-adhd/ for more information on that.)
were sometimes too much for a young girl and would cause uncontrolled lashes of anger towards myself.
It’s so important for us to have a better understanding of Sensory overload at a younger age and to be able to assist those who struggle with it and prevent harm towards themselves and others.
Hannah x